I always tell myself “and so what if you’re single? You’ve been single and lived this world for almost 20 years and now you’re complaining of being single? You must get used to it!” But I know, quite sure, that the reason behind was just to convince myself not to frown by having no one.

         Twenty years of being single? Does the first 16-year span count? Of course not! And I think I have a better reason now to complain because I think I am on my right age to commit in a romantic relationship. A real relationship and not just flirting and mingling.

         Somewhat I am curious about the feeling, about the set-up of what they call “being in a relationship”. I want to experience the happiness almost everyone is talking about. I want to execute the real smile with the “kilig glow” on my eyes.

         I admit it, being not involved lessens my self-esteem. I feel ugly and unworthy. Do I not look good? Don’t I possess the characteristics of a girlfriend? Questions like those make me sadder.

        Am I not ready yet? I don’t think so. Why are there high school teenies who are, at very young age, already get involved? And not only that, they tend to manage to make the relationship last. 

        Now, I don’t know what I am saying. Maybe, just maybe, I am tired of being alone.